I Thought Limb Loss Came with a Chore Exemption

When they wheeled me out of the hospital, part of me thought, “At least I’ll get out of doing dishes for a while.”

I mean—no legs, right? There’s gotta be some kind of cosmic trade-off for that.

But instead, I found myself days later perched on a short stool, soaking wet, with a sponge in one hand and existential disappointment in the other.

The Setup: No Legs. No Breaks. Just Soap Suds and Sadness

Here’s the vibe:

• I’m legless.

• I’m not in prosthetics yet.

• I’m hunched over a sink like some half-formed gargoyle.

• I’m trying to balance while scrubbing a baking dish that clearly lost a war with cheese.

I keep dropping forks. My shirt is soaked. The floor is slippery. I am aggressively not thriving.

And somehow... I’m still the one on dish duty.

The Harsh Reality of Amputee Daily Routine

Here’s what they don’t mention in the pamphlets about amputee daily life:
Your chores? Still there.
Your bills? Still due.
Your cat? Still knocking things off counters like you didn’t just survive a medical apocalypse.

There’s no “skip” button for the little things.
If anything, they get weirder.

Like trying to open a childproof bottle of dish soap with wet hands and the balance of a baby deer.
Or realizing halfway through that the stool you’re sitting on has a crack in it and this could all go sideways, fast.

Life Hack: There Is No Hack

Forget “prosthetic life hacks.”
I don’t even have prosthetics yet.

You know what my life hack is?

Don’t fall in the sink.
Try again tomorrow.
Swear less. Or more. Up to you.

Everyone loves to talk about the big amputee wins—walking again, running marathons, climbing mountains.
But no one ever tells you how to do the dishes when your legs are gone and your patience went with them.

The Eternal Truth of Dishes

Some people find meaning in suffering.
Some find peace in faith.
Me?
I found out that the dishes never stop.
Not even when your legs do.

So if you're out there, imagining that losing your limbs comes with a break from the mundane... let me be the one to break it to you:

It doesn’t.

Final Thought (Before I Go Dry My Shirt)

I don’t share this to complain.
I share it because it’s real.

If you’re someone adjusting to life after amputation, or just someone going through hard stuff—you’re not alone.
You’re not broken.
You’re not doing it wrong.

You’re just out here… doing the damn dishes.
Legs or no legs.